A New Two Party System? Here’s a Thought!

As a Presidential candidate for 2016, I’ve been giving the political process a lot of consideration. I’ve listened for years to people who are frustrated with the two party process because they feel they don’t exactly “fit” perfectly into either party.

As a former advertising executive, I think it is imperative to solve this challenge with my business experience. A simple advertising mantra is to specifically relate to your audience. Give them the feeling that they are a valuable demographic and give them a reason to make a choice for a product — or political party — for which they already have something basic in common.

That’s why I would leave the two party process alone. Keep the two parties, but just change the ones we have. Instead of Republican and Democrat, divide the parties into Men and Women parties.

Now there are a lot of benefits to this new grouping — at least from my vantage point. Understand that the party you choose does not have to be based on your actual gender, but that would be a good starting point.

In the last Census, there  were 143.4 million females and 138.1 million males, so of course, that would give “my” party a slight advantage. We have seen a slight increase in the male population, but we’ll have to keep a watch on that. Women traditionally live longer than men, so we have the older vote.

To ensure a resounding victory for the Women Party, we have several methods of influence. For instance, my husband darn well better join the Women Party or he will not have me doing his laundry or letting him golf and even worse, he will lose control of the remote. My gay friend Dale (not his real name of course), asked which party he should be in and we both agreed the Women Party would love and value his fashion and decorating advice. In fact, I’m depending on Dale and another friend to redo the Oval Office…I know they’d bring in some soothing colors and comfortable furniture, which could really assist in relaxing those foreign leaders who are intent on war with each other, or getting the Men Party to compromise (which might also just take letting them have control of the Oval Office television remote for a little while).

Of course, I’m also aware that we’ll have men joining the Women Party simply to meet women, but as long as we’re in control, it’s all about the numbers.

Which reminds me…when there’s is a crisis in the legislature and massive negotiations need to be held, I’d work with the Women Party to hold the negotiations during Monday night football. In fact, it has been suggested to me by a very smart potential party member that if I just hold one “Fabulous” party, turn on a game, press repeat, the Women Party could take care of the world’s business for years!

And while I have already stated that I am not an advocate of the current campaign finance laws, I believe the new two party system can truly change the dynamics of campaigns while also jump-starting the economy.

Can you not see the potential for Macy’s and Saks and TJ Maxx getting involved? Imagine a couponing system for campaign donations: Buy one and they’ll donate to the Women’s Party. Or, retail-sponsored sales based on what to wear to support the Women’s Party events. More women would purchase at those locations, sales would go up, deficit would go down (well, there’s a bit more to that).

You know, Lowe’s might even join in — after all, if Dale and his friends are going to fix up the White House for me, sales for do-it-yourself supplies are going to skyrocket. I think we’re really on to something…..




Author: jillswain

Former Mayor Chamber of Commerce Exec. Director Advertising consultant Mom and spouse (30 years and counting!) Rec league girls' volleyball coach Champion of all things Huntersville, North Carolina

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