Announcing My Candidacy…

My husband will be a bit surprised when he reads this in the morning. I didn’t really think about preparing him for media calls. The kids will be fine — I think they’ve suspected all along that their mom wanted to make an impact. And my friends? Well, it is specifically because of my friends that I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of the United States in 2016.

I don’t really believe in the current campaign financing laws, so I figure I’d best get started early. It just seems to me to be ridiculous to spend a billion dollars or so on campaign ads when a) there are people whose lives could be bettered by a fraction of that money, and b) social media, like Facebook, Twitter, Skype and even Pinterest are free.

There are many reasons why I’ve decided to run. You see, I’ve often said that I believe we will never have a qualified president again. I mean, what compassionate, patriotic citizen who believes in doing what’s right for the country, would ever want to put their family and friends through the negativity of a campaign? Year after year I watch what the campaigns have done to the citizens of our country and I’ve often thought someone needs to shake things up a bit, and get us back on track. That someone might as well be me.

I plan to come out of the gate admitting that I’m not perfect. In fact, I’ll be happy to supply the media with details of all my flaws. I have hung a dog on a garage door once. I was 12 and babysitting and the dog did survive, but it was a mistake. I have a credit score that’s not very good, but that is a sacrifice I chose to make when my husband lost his job and I made the decision to still stay at home with our young children. I have let my car registration expire, I’ve had overdue library books. I did make an error on ebay — I sold two items and mailed them to the wrong addresses. I have partied a bit in college and during that time I did ride in a clothes dryer. But I only went around once. I’ll save more of my imperfections for the next four years. I don’t want to give everything away at once, or I’ll lose the public’s interest.

I’m savvy enough I believe, to know that I am not an expert in everything. So, my promise is to surround myself with people who do know things. When I debate my opponents, I’ll bring in the group of experts that will assist me in my day-to-day decision making. If Candy Crowley asks me about budgeting, I’ll have my finance experts give input. I’m not planning on choosing my Cabinet based on their political preference, but on their years of expertise. It is doubtful that I will bring in anyone with an MBA, simply because I want people with me who have real world experience.

And speaking of political leanings, I think I have a little to offer everyone. I believe the government should protect our citizens militarily and financially and be able toΒ  explain their decisions succinctly and wisely. I believe We the People are indeed responsible for the future generations of Americans and we need to use our natural resources wisely. That includes using our brains to figure out how we can do better.

I plan to take the race issue head on by taking it out of the equation. There will be no questions on applications that ask for race. We can herald our individual heritages, but race will not be used anymore as a potential divider. First generations will be called, out of courtesy, Italian Americans, Polish Americans, African Americans, etc. But if your family has been here for two generations or more, you are officially Americans. So let’s get this out on the table: I am Cherokee, Polish, English, Irish and a mixture of other backgrounds. I do tell Polish jokes — they are funny. In fact, I think we need more jokes. If elected, I’ll tell President jokes, just to remind us all that we should always have moments of levity.

I believe my religion is between me and my higher power. I don’t plan on judging anyone because their beliefs differ from mine. In fact, I hope to expand my knowledge by listening to other beliefs — unless they use their religion to condemn others. I believe “true” religions do not encourage hate and do not judge.

I am working on my taxation platform and will have to release that later, but I will say that I’m using the Huntersville Connection group as an example of progress and working together. In fact, I believe the partnership, networking and “matchmaking” philosophy is quite simply the best example of working together. I’ll encourage large companies to use their profits for the greater good, encourage people who feel frustrated with the current system to find ways using their talents to contribute to the betterment of society and I will make sure education includes a community service component.

We have a little over four years to work together on a larger platform and I can assure you that your viewpoint is vital in helping me develop an ideology that represents what American has always been about — freedom to discuss, freedom to debate, freedom to have input in our nation’s progress. And I need your assistance in coming up with some catchy slogans. So…as we move forward to 2016, I hope you’ll be part of the fun!

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Author: jillswain

Former Mayor Chamber of Commerce Exec. Director Advertising consultant Mom and spouse (30 years and counting!) Rec league girls' volleyball coach Champion of all things Huntersville, North Carolina

14 thoughts on “Announcing My Candidacy…”

  1. Count on my support!! Wish you had made this decision a few years ago, then we would have had a decent canditate for 2012.
    Jennifer

  2. I want to apply for the position of Grand Campaign Manager Emeritus. I even have the first Campaign Slogan: Swains World, Party On, Excellent! (I may have borrowed some of that). Our follow on Slogan would be: Pig Charming Skills Beyond Compare! Do I get the job?

  3. I’m in! Stay strong though! No telling what Ann Coulter will call YOU!? I think that you amassed the people who know and respect you (along with all our kids) you would have a picture of a very diverse base of support. You may have put it out there in jest but the country REALLY needs some of what you are saying! We need to heal!

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